Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Surgery of the eye and heart

Yesterday was a big day.

I took Beckett to a pediatric eye doctor and found out that the lazy-eye we've been noticing intermittently is really there, and thankfully, very treatable. I went to the appointment with mixed feelings. Thankful that we live in a large city that has such amazing health care for children (there were patients in his office that drove 4 hours to get to this specialist!), thankful that we noticed this early, and dreading the thought of eye-patches and exercises and glasses on a toddler.

I was a little surprised at the diagnosis and treatment.

He needs eye surgery. Ugh.

The doctor reassured me that we caught this while he was young, so he may never need additional treatment. And he does 200-300 of these procedures a year. That's good to know. He also empathized- no parent wants to have their child operated on. So, we're still getting used to the idea here, and I'm trying to picture letting people I barely know wheel our little boy back into an operating room. I've already begun praying for God to use the docs gifted hands to successfully perform this operation, that there would be no complications (not even gonna go there), and that we would only have to do this one time (1 in 4 need additional surgeries.) I'm thankful that the treatment plan was so clear. It would be tough to have to decide between this and other options. He said there was no immediate rush, to get in done in the next month.

We're scheduled for January 28th, unless they have a cancellation and can get him in sooner.

Now, about the heart surgery.

Eli got his first spanking yesterday. It's something we've been praying about for a few months now. Joel and I both had reservations about spanking our kids, and for the first 2 years, it didn't seem we would even need to, so we gratefully tabled the discussion. Mostly, our fear was about our ability to do it appropriately, especially given Joel and my childhood experiences. It felt like opening Pandora's Box. We've read book, prayed for wisdom, talk to more experienced parents...and waited.

Lately, it's been clear that other forms of discipline, positive reinforcement, time-outs, etc. were just not making the impact they needed too. Thankfully, at the same time, we have been getting a better grasp on what it would look like to use "spanking" in a responsible way.

Last night, some dinner issues blossomed into blatant defiance and disrespect. Joel and I agreed that this what the kind of thing that probably warranted some more serious discipline. Joel calmly took Eli upstairs, explained what would happen, and gave Eli his first spanking.

Heart surgery. Ugh.

Eli's tears were quick, loud, and just as quickly gone. They hugged and prayed together, and when he returned to the table his heart was humble and he was respectful. Joel's tears were quiet, and lasted much longer than Eli's.

It's a tough thing, to watch your child hurt, even if it's for a greater good.


The Moore Family said...

I have tears too as I totally relate to your pain!!! Way to go on waiting, doing it correctly and seeing the correct results! Ouch for everyone!

Anonymous said...

I sweetie- I just emailed you! I'm glad your under such wonderful care- and your right, it's one of the hardest things to imagine- your little one being wheeled away to a strange operating room- but you know what- my experiance with surgery on littles one from working in Neurosurgery- is it's alot harder on parents- then the childeren- they have amazing strength to rally back!!!

I'm so glad that he is in such great hands- 200-300 surgeies is alot and that's a great sign!

I had a way harder time during Juliana's and Adrew's 3-4's then the so called terrible two's. I also had every book in world on behavior and iI finally had a very small and wonderful book- that I still use- it's called, I forgot exactly- it's something like Winning the war on whinning and other family scrimishes? I'll try to google it and I need to find my own copy of- Juliana has been mighty testy latley...anyway it helped alot- I think you and joel do such a wonderful job parenting!

sorry, didn't mean to write book you

ceressa said...

the above comment is from me..I didn't mean to be anonymous- but maybe after seeing how much I wrote I should....ha!

Melissa said...

Thanks for the encouragement! : ) And Ceress, I think you mentioned that book when I was out there last and I forgot all about it. I'll have to check it out.

Amy B said...

Hey, Mel, just came across your blog from facebook. Love it! What a great tribute to your family, and way more productive than randmom "window" shopping online, which is what I tend to fill my spare moments with :-)
We're finally making headway with Sam in the "you really must sleep in your own bed now that you're 6" department. He has terrible night terrors, and I had to carry him back to his bed last night for fourth time and leave him there howling. And talking to me through the hall for the next 30 mins. And even though I fear I'm breaking his little heart by forcing him to sleep alone, I know deep down it's for the best. It's our "spanking" issue...complicated and not any easier when they're older.
Anyway, sorry for the long comment. Maybe I should've just emailed--ha!